Sunday, March 15, 2009

Hey, February was only 28 days, okay?

Yeah, I skipped a whole month again. But pardon, things have been busy. Hubby left for BCT (Basic Combat Training) in Fort Knox...I have really been trying to adjust to life without another adult in the house. I feel "okay" in the sense that I don't cry myself to sleep or ritualistically put his clothes on in the dark. I am just not sure anything has really happened yet that has made me miss him.

Anicah is really too young to "miss" daddy...but she sees little things every now & again & says quizzically, "Daddy?" I was folding his pajama pants from a forgotten pile of laundry today & she did it. His shoes are still on the floor of our bedroom and that will trigger the daddy question. She doesn't seem sad...just sort of confused. "Hmm...I know that big bald guy used to hang around a LOT. His stuff is still here, where is HE?"

Jocelynn is a little more aware. She has spent a few nights crying herself into sleep. I took one of his pillows that has a very distinct "man smell". Testosterone & dirt, I think. I put one of his favorite t-shirts on it...and gave it a quick squirt with his favorite cologne (is it cologne if it's from The Body Shop?). One night I give her this "daddy pillow" to hug a little while she cries, and later I find her rolled away from it crying harder. I asked her why she didn't want to hug the pillow and she said, "It's just too sad!" That is when I get sad.

Before he left, Eric made a little dvd for each of them. He reads a story for them...and gives them a short message. He says nice things about being good at school & for me. He also went to Build-a-Bear with Jocelynn. Last year for Father's Day we gave him a gift certificate for BAB, and he finally decided to use it before he left. He & Jocelynn made stuffed animals together. She made a Zebra dressed up like Hannah Montana, complete with little guitar that plays some of her songs. (Uuuugh.) Eric made a little monkey with camos & boots. It's kind of cute. We collaborated on a name...and he's called "PFC Bananas." It is Jocelynn's job to take care of PFC Bananas. So she has something to do for dad while he is gone.

In the first week my husband was gone I bought a bench cubby with baskets to sit near the front door, with a matching shelf w/ hooks, & a little thing for my car keys. Eric HATES to hang the keys by the front door...but it's the only way for me not to lose them. So I put something up.

...I would like to get back into posting projects & I am doing some furniture rearranging to be able to do a little more work. Hopefully by next week I will be done!

I need to make a trip out to get our Military I.D.s & get setup with Tricare. So lots of things to do, still!

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