Friday, August 7, 2009

Little lies, or DUHHHH!!

I actually got this article from another blog...11 Secrets All Men Keep.

After reading it...I have to wonder, "Are men so dense they don't think women have already figured out most of these?" No offense to men in general, maybe it's just the writer of the blog that's...dense. But really, these are secrets? I could laugh out loud right now!

I won't give the explanation from the article, but I would like to go over each lie...

Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you.
We know you look. And while I think for most men, it's a look-but-don't-touch policy...You can't tell me NO man looks because he's looking for something/someone else.

Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you.
Really? You didn't think we knew this? Why do you think wives & girlfriends get so upset over it? You need an "absence" from home life? Way to be an asshole, there, bub. When was the last time your wife/girlfriend had an absence from anything sans kids, hubby, and home?

Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you.
Not. A. Surprise. Especially when you consider #1 and #2.

Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important.
The majority of men [that I know/have interacted with] are competitive. In everything. Why would earnings be any different? My husband has even been competitive with our 5 year old.

Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house.
Yes, I figured this out when I said something like, "I'll just do it..." and my husband has jumped out of his chair to take whatever power tool I am trying to wield in my grip & takes over. Maybe it has a little something to do with showing off his manly prowess that he has to "help" his "wife in distress". Fine with me. I might chip a nail on that power drill.

Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother.
As illustrated when a man gets the slightest case of the sniffles and moans & groans on the couch all day. A secret of our own? Sometimes we like to baby you a little...but we're terrified if we spoil you, you will turn into a child.

Secret #7: Every year we love you more.
It really can't hurt to say that you love us more. It's nice to hear that we are appreciated and loved. However, not saying anything can cause the opposite effect in women.

Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about.
Agree with me when you have no idea what I'm saying? And then you wonder why I get upset later over something you never remember discussing?? Surprise, this discussion you blew off was exactly what I was talking about! If you really don't understand, SAY SO! Tell us we need to explain it like you're a 5 year old if necessary. Smile, nod, and agree the next time you encounter a salesman & see where it gets ya. In a 10 year contract with a 47% interest rate, for a product you're not even sure exists. Smooth move.

Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive.

Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again.
This should probably just be changed to "wish we were young & unattached again". And...Who hasn't??

Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime.
You mean smothering someone & near-stalking DON'T endear you to them?? I better cancel some plans I have later, then.

In summation...sorry, guys. Your secrets aren't as safe (or secret) as you thought they were. This blog post isn't meant to demean or make fun of any man I know (or love)...but I do think if any guys are thinking these things are really truly secrets, that I'd at least give them a chance to find some real secrets & maybe help things along. Some secrets may not be worth keeping.


Acci said...

Ah ha! I tricked you womenfolk! I don't play golf! So there!


Maegan said...

Lol...Well, Acci...You have got one over on us. ;)